On Intuition…
In 2006 I made a commitment to myself:
From here on in - I seek my own guidance first and foremost when decisions are to be made.
I didn't set out to support others in attuning to their own intuition.
I teach it now because I failed to find a mentor who could meet my needs back then.
I set out to fill the void I felt when I tried to access my inner GPS.
I’ve always known that there was something more magical than I could imagine…
…Something that could offer me guidance and support if I could figure out how to listen.
…Something that could help me find ways to create the world I’d needed when I was younger.
…Something obscured by the veneer of THIS IS FINE plastered atop the isolation of my privilege.
There’s something in each of us that can show us the way when we’re willing and able to listen.
Comic from KC Green. In the first frame an animated tan dog with black ears and nose and and indistinct expression sits inside at a table with a beverage. Smoke fills the air above the green walls and doorway. Both the dog and the table are surrounded by flames. In the second (last) frame the dog smiles and says “This is fine.”
I knew that I was here for a reason, even if I didn't know what it was.
I have my own personal cocktail of individual abuses and violent systemic impacts.
I imagine that you may as well.
I doubt any of us have come so far into this life without some degree of trauma.
Unprocessed trauma inhibits our inner-connectivity.
That’s why my “intuition” always felt hidden in parts of me that I couldn't access.
Stuck within facets of me that didn’t make it into or through my earlier years.
I was abused out of my body early on, and it rarely feels safe enough to come back.
I dissociate like it's nobody's business.
It isn’t anybody's business.
I’m sharing it here anyway.
I want you to know that it’s an ongoing practice for me.
It’s a challenge to consciously embody my body.
That doesn’t mean I’m broken.
I’m not. In fact, there is nothing wrong with me.
My gut, heart, mind, and body are functioning as designed.
I make a flawless me.
It’s my ecosystems are broken.
I’m trying to safely through toxic cultural and interpersonal situations.
In a culture that normalizes violence, dissociation can be a welcome reprieve.
In these moments, I am extra grateful for it.
My system’s figured out a way to protect me from things that felt unsurvivable.
Learning to influence how I occupy and abandon myself is a super power.
The longer I’m in practice, the more I see that my experiences aren’t unique.
Every human is unique, of course.
But, I am not alone.
Pain, stress and violence have chased so many of us right out of our skin.
Our bodies are working to protect us inside of the broken environments we endure.
Inner listening is an essential skill to cultivate when attuning to our intuition.
The process of coming home to self is simple, and not at all easy.
I must continue to learn to trust myself, and be honest about what I’m feeling.
I must continue to be willing to sit with discomfort and grief.
I must continue to learn to say “no” and to access the felt sense of my “yes”.
First I l had to learn how to know what I want and what I don't.
Now I’m working to nurture my relationship to the my desires.
I must continue confronting my ignorance, biases, assumptions, and judgements.
I must continue to practice taking accountability for my capacity to do harm.
Giving my heart and gut a voice…
… led me out of a tenured teaching job and into the healing arts.
… carried me away from toxic dynamics, towards new beloveds, sacred places and transformative traditions.
…brought me to communication with the divine.
I am so many lessons past the person I was in 2006.
I’m grateful to her for having the courage to move forward with integrity and trust.
I get to be this clear, connected, confident version of myself because of that.
Following my “yes” continues to lead me through profound opportunities.
I remain committed to becoming a better human, and building a better world.
Comic from Awkward Yeti. In the foreground a gleeful animated heart chases a yellow butterfly down a grassy hill saying “WEEEE! Let’s go THIS WAY!”. In the background a brain with glasses stands observing without expression.
My intuitive clarity comes when I lean in to my own wellness and development.
Emotional healing reconnects me to lost facets of my fullest self.
Relational growth tunes me into the magic of our interconnectivity.
Spiritual practice opened doors to the other-worldly love that was beyond the reach of my imagination before.
The guidance and support I receive through this work astounds me.
It’s kept me anchored in trust during some significant periods of challenge.
Tuning into my depths and things greater than myself got me through.
I wouldn’t be here without these practices.
I’m always grateful for the opportunity to share them with others.
Unstuckening
I’m in the process of designing and refining a pilot program to help others animate their intuition.
It’s intended as an opportunity to gain skills and experience:
Listening to your own inner wisdoms
Caring for your relationship to your goals
Connecting with other-worldly sources of guidance and support
Right now it’s called Unstuckening: 4 weeks to Confident Clarity.
You won’t see anything about it anywhere else on my website yet.
I’m still testing ideas out, getting feedback, and refining my process.
If you’re reading this and want to participate, let’s talk.